Memphis Motivation

Beginning Steps. Becoming Me – Transgender Journey – FTM

One week ago today, marks my “Coming Out” to my wife Natalie.  For years I have felt extremely different.  Unlike anyone else.  “Why can’t I wake up as a man?” I would ask myself.  “It would fix everything”.  From a very young age, I have always been very interested in females.  Now you may think that that means that I am simply a lesbian, and that is definitely the name I have given myself, however, it is not truly who I am.

I have always looked up to male figures such as John Travolta, Tony Robbins, Robin Williams, Stevie Wonder, Otis Redding, Al Green, Gene Kelly and more.  But it wasn’t that I looked up to them so much as it was that I wanted to wake up as them.  When I say wake up as them, I simply mean the man I was supposed to be…not for fame or fortune.

When I finally came out to not only my wife last Wednesday date night, but also to myself, I felt a huge weight lift off of my chest.  I felt like I finally told myself the truth that I have kept in my entire life.  Instead of continuing to make excuses, I told the complete and honest truth about me to me.  It felt so good.  Almost surreal.

What I have done since that day, is a lot of thinking and taking small baby steps.  I have always been a person that does not like body hair.  To the point where I shave one to two times every day since the age of 13.  This does not only include my body but also my face.  I have a deficiency (which may not be the correct medical term), where my body does not produce proper estrogen levels and produces increased testosterone.  Coincidence?  I think not, but it is a common medical problem with a number of women my doctor tells me.

I tried a medication that increases your estrogen that my doctor gave me and it only made “me” so far from myself that I quit after a month and a half.  It was not me at all.  I also have a strong dislike to putting anything into my body that is not natural.  I don’t even take Tylenol.  So obviously, if I decide that I am going to become FTM transgender, then hormone therapy would be something I would need to take into consideration mentally.

It has been 3 days since I shaved my body and it is one of the weirdest feelings I have ever felt.  I keep looking at myself in the mirror…what I picture myself as.  How would I feel?


  1. Paula Pittman

    Krystal/Charlie whatever is right for you I support. You are a beautiful person. I respect your courage and strength to openly express and share your journey. As long as we can still dance when I’m healed up, lol
    You are and will be inspiring to so many. I nothing but Love and respect you always have always will!
    ????✌️???? ???????? PJ.

    1. charlie (Post author)

      Awee thank you so much Paula 🙂 I really appreciate your support and I miss the heck out of you. It has been way too long and we need to catch up! Thank you so much for your beautiful message!

  2. mike lewis

    i have a friend who is younger than you that has gone thru this and maybe you can talk to him. he is in germany but was from gaylord. please check this facebook profile ; Holden Madagame
    this person has gone FTM and can also share some things.

    1. charlie (Post author)

      Hi there Mike! I appreciate that very much and I will definitely check him out on facebook. Thank you tons and much love, Charlie.

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